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The Power of Compassion to Heal and Connect
In this issue:
Compassion As a Default Mindset
Sometimes I find it’s easy to lose sight of one of the most powerful tools we have for connection and healing: compassion.
Compassion isn’t just about being kind to others – it’s also about extending that same kindness to ourselves.
In East Asian traditions, compassion is viewed as a cornerstone of health and harmony, fostering balance within ourselves and in our relationships with others.
This month, let’s explore how we can bring compassion into our every-day lives – or how we can make it our “default” mindset. Compassion-forward!
Because whether it’s a moment of understanding toward a friend, patience with a stranger, or forgiveness for yourself, these small acts of compassion ripple outward to create a more caring and connected community.
Let’s start with a story, an experience I had in the past where an act of compassion has really stuck with me. We will also discover practical ways to nurture compassion. For others, for your community, and (most importantly) for yourself.
A Lesson in Compassion
The Old Lady sat in the chair in Dr Lam’s office. She was in her 90's, well dressed, and had recently gone to the hair dresser's.
Her son sat in the chair next to her. (We – Dr Lam's students, myself included – stood behind, observing.) The Old Lady had been a patient of Dr Lam's for over 60 years, so her visits now were quite routine.
Dr Lam was an Acupuncturist and Traditional Chinese Herbal Practitioner. (He was also my first teacher.) He had helped the Old Lady with her pregnancies, through menopause, and with various ailments throughout the years. Mainly Dr Lam used herbs, but also acupressure massage and acupuncture.
Now, as the Old Lady was getting older, her son had to bring her to the consultations in order to facilitate the conversation.
On this particular day she did not have a specific concern. It was more of a routine check up visit.
However, the Old Lady expressed that she “wasn't feeling well”, and she was clearly unhappy. (Or “sad”, as Dr Lam put it.)
On his desk, Dr Lam had this “desk toy” ornament. The sort of thing with liquids and bubbles that you moved back and forth, and the bubbles went up and down in the colourful liquid.
The Old Lady kept looking at it.
Picking it up.
Moving it.
Shaking it and putting it down again to watch it settle.
Dr Lam was a very experienced practitioner who, whilst kind, was also very direct and to the point. (This could come off as being abrupt or not caring if you were not used to it.)
In speaking with her, and after feeling her pulse and looking at her tongue, it was clear that Dr Lam was not sure how to help her as she did not have a specific ailment.
As a doctor, he was getting a bit frustrated with the situation. He didn’t have “something to fix”!
(She carried on playing with the toy on the desk.)
Suddenly, Dr Lam leaned over and touched her on her hand.
He said, “You have that toy. My gift for you.”
The Old Lady stopped moving and sat very still for a few moments. She then burst into tears and then started to smile. (Honestly, she looked like she had regained 15 years of her life!)
She left that day without having received acupuncture nor any herbs. And yet so happy!
Dr Lam simply said: “The toy was the medicine today.”
There were many things to learn from this encounter. But one aspect that stands out for me is that this was a great lesson in compassion.
Dr Lam was a very accomplished and experienced practitioner, internationally recognized and respected by his peers. He had at his disposal the full array of Traditional Chinese Medical techniques and theories.
Yet it was his simple human kindness and compassion that was the best medicine on that day.
This lesson in compassion has stuck with me ever since. The best treatments are not necessarily the ones that involve the most sophisticated techniques or the latest technologies.
These things are helpful when used skilfully and appropriately, of course. But the ability to connect with a patient in a gentle, compassionate way is one of the greatest strengths of what makes us human.
Compassion reminds us that we are all connected, and together we can make life brighter for everyone.
And this should be at the heart of every treatment. (Heck! I will go so far to say that it should be at the heart of every human interaction.)
Could you imagine the world we would live in if we simply stopped for a moment to connect with each other in a sincere, open-hearted and compassionate manner, instead of judging and blaming and positioning?
But I digress… Compassion for oneself and for the person I am lucky enough to work with, rests at the heart of the work that I do with you.
(I am very grateful for this opportunity!)
Cultivating Self-Compassion
Compassion isn’t just a gift we offer to others. It’s a gift we must also offer ourselves.
In moments of exhaustion, stress, or self-doubt, showing kindness to yourself is not selfish, but a necessity.
Rest when your body demands it, let go of perfectionism, and extend the grace to make mistakes without self-criticism.
Protect your well-being by setting healthy boundaries and saying no to overwhelming commitments.
Celebrate your wins, no matter how “small”, and embrace activities that bring you joy and peace.
Nourish your body with wholesome food, practice mindfulness to ease stress, seek treatment when you need it. This self-compassion builds resilience and replenishes your ability to care for others.
By treating yourself with the same warmth and understanding you offer the world, you create a foundation of strength and balance.
Compassion Through Healing
Sometimes, showing compassion to ourselves means seeking support for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
My treatments offer a holistic approach to care that nurtures balance, relieves stress, and promotes healing. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, physically depleted, or simply in need of grounding, treatments such as acupuncture, herbal medicine, or Zen Shiatsu can provide the space and care your body and mind deserve.
These practices are not just for addressing symptoms. They can help you to create harmony within and align with your natural state of wellness.
Make time for your health. By doing so, you’re honouring yourself and cultivating the strength to share your compassion with others.
“A mind of compassion is the key to real happiness.”
– Thích Nhất Hạnh
Closing Reflection
Compassion is a beautiful gift, but it can sometimes feel exhausting when you’re constantly giving it to others.
How do you balance caring for others while also caring for yourself?
True compassion extends kindness outward, but also includes the self in that circle of care.
(You can’t pour from an empty cup, after all.)
The question isn’t whether to prioritize others or yourself – it’s how to honour both.
What’s one small act of compassion you can offer yourself today? And how might that ripple outward toward others?
Thank you again for reading and reflecting with me.
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About Daniel
I am a practitioner of traditional East Asian medicine based in Toronto, Ontario. You can find more about me on my bio or learn more about the treatments I offer.
As always, thanks for reading!
– Daniel (T’agyol) Adler